Fear vs Regret

The other day my brother sent me a link to an amazing lecture given by Les Brown. In one part, he talks about fear and regret, and it made me think….What scares you more? Fear or regret?

For me it’s regret. Regret scares me more than fear itself. My philosophy with anything I do is “What will I think when I’m 85?” “What will my old self look back and think?” I want my old self to look back and be proud of my young self, and have a lot of fun memories to cherish and smile about.

If you said fear, is it fear of what other people think of you? Fear of failure? Fear of being happy? Fear of being sad? Fear of the unknown?

Fear is what prevents people from doing what they love, being who they are or who they want to be. Fear will keep you from happiness. From health. From wealth. Fear does the exact opposite of what people are trying to prevent. Feeling hurt. We think if we don’t do it, or if we don’t try we won’t get hurt. We can’t get hurt. I mean, how can you possibly get hurt if you’re not doing something right? Wrong!

Regret hurts. It hurts worse than fear of failure or fear of anything ever will. Regret never goes away. When you fear doing something, and you don’t do it, even 10 years later the regret will hurt you. How many times have you heard someone say “if I had it to do all over again” or “if I could go back and change one thing.” These phrases are spoken from a place of regret.

When you try something and do not succeed or feel as though you looked like a fool, it's okay. Deal with those emotions and move forward. If you tried, you succeeded, no matter what the outcome. If it doesn’t work out, you didn’t fail, you gained knowledge. If you look like a fool, you can have fun laughing at that memory. Don’t these scenarios sound so much more inviting then looking back in regret?

Why do we care so much about what others think? When did we start letting everything and everyone define who we are? We somehow let them define our very existence.

This is your life. Literally your life. It’s the one thing we have true control over yet most people don’t exercise that control.

If you’re ready to tackle your fears and want to start making changes, start small. Every week write down 3-5 goals you want to accomplish that week. Make sure you do every one of them. As you start to accomplish these goals, and you start feeling more confident, work your way up your fear list to the bigger things. Make a plan, and ACT. ACT on it! Don’t just say it. Feel it, and ACT on it.

Once you start overcoming your fears, or obstacles you have made for yourself, you will begin to feel a shift inside of you. You start to feel happy and alive. You begin to see things differently, and with these feelings, other great feelings follow. It’s an amazing transformation.

Stop waiting. There will never be a perfect time, scenario or moment. You can plan, save, write it down, and make a list, and it still won’t be right. People wait to get married. Wait to have kids. Wait to buy a house. Wait to find a better job. Wait to start a business. Wait to go on vacation. Wait wait wait wait wait. Suddenly 5 years have passed, and you are still waiting. We create our own perfect moments, and those perfect moments happen organically. Now I’m not saying don’t prepare for things, or don’t plan for things. Most things require some type of plan or preparation. So Plan. Prepare and do it. No fear. No regrets!